Say what you will, but happiness is a choice and a struggle. Happiness isn’t always sitting passively beside you. Sometimes it is across a raging river. You have to decide if it’s worth the risk. Do you have the guts to cross? Is the raging river even real, or a figment of your fear? I didn’t think I would be able to confront the family I am working for about how unhappy I was in their house. My grievances are long and overplayed in my head, but in short it was very difficult to be myself in a house where negativity settles like pollen. I love kids, and I want to work with them in my life. But, I can’t be employed as an extension to a family who wants me to fix their chaotic life for them. I disagree with the entire concept of a Nanny. I am a smiling hypocrite. I need freedom in my life right now and I am so, so happy that it is in my near future. I can taste it. Freedom is sweet and sour on the tip of my tongue. Crunchy with the excitement of the unknown and warm from the past tastes that have settled deep in my stomach. I swallowed my fear…now it’s time to gulp for fresh air!
I will be living in a tent in my friend’s backyard and probably hopping from place to place, friend to friend, and living out of my suitcase. I will bulk up my hours at Morning Brew Coffee Shop as well as work at farmer’s markets as a demo for a company that sells “Sea Asparagus.” I also want to busk a lot more for money. I will eat mostly local vegetables that I collect at the markets each week and write a lot of music. I will constantly do things that enrich my life and weed out the negativity. I was really stuck on “don’t quit, it will all be ok, just toughen up.” And then I realized that it’s not my time for that. I am currently wandering, with no fixed destination, no obligation, self-implemented responsibility and constantly searching for what makes me happy.